Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?
by AlexisK11
Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?
1. Chapter 1

AIYLOYB?

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em

Chapter: 1/?

Rating: N/C 17

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest

Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse

Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)

Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Sam was so excited, it was his first college party, at the most popular off campus frat house, and it was co-ed! Did he mention how much he loved Stanford? Because he LOVES it! & fuck were there a lot of hot girls and guys there. Sam was surrounded by a group of friends when he head a bunch of the girls and hell a lot of the guys gushing about the Senior that had just arrived in some classic Chevy or something from the sounds of it. From the way everyone was talking, Sam could not wait to get a glimpse of this dude. Pushing his way through the crowd (Which is not an easy feat for someone who's 6'4") he managed to get to a place where he could see the arrival of this mystery man everyone else seemed to know about.

Finally he was able to get a good long look at Mr. omyfuckinggodishehot. Sam took a quick inventory; Tall, but not taller than Sam. Short spiky blonde hair. Awesome body. Amazingly full lips. & HolyMotherofGod his gait made just beyondperfect by his slightly bowed legs. Sam was already swooning with the rest of them. He had to get a chance to talk to this guy, but first he needed to find out more about him. Turning to one of the Juniors he knows from class Sam asked about Mr. Sex on legs.

"He's quiet. Everybody wants him but he never hooks up with anybody. Figure he must have had a bad relationship back home or something," she said.

"Where's he from?" Sam asked.

"Not Sure."

Well holyfuckingbatshit if they guy could get any hotter and more mysterious he just did. Jared was going to deff. have to make his way over to talk to this guy now. He needed to feel him out, find out if he was even into guys or not.

Finding that the guy was at the drink bar, Sam headed over and walked up to stand beside him. "Some party huh? Well to me it is, I never really got to do much growing up. Name's Sam by the way." he said while offering the guy his hand.

"Dean. & neither did I, hell. Where are you from?"

"Kansas."

"Oh." was the only reply Dean gave and Sam literally watched the walls go up. "Me too, I mean I was born there, I don't really ever go back there now."

"Same."

"Huh," Dean said contemplating. That's partially why I'm here I think, just to find a place to fit in for once."

"Well I've never really felt the need to fit in all that much. Just here for an education and if I find some good friends or someone special while I'm here, that would be a plus."

"Ah. Yea. So you find any chicks your into yet?'"

"Na, not really. Though there are a few guys around that have caught my eye." Sam offered hoping he didn't scare Dean off already. "Guys huh? Hm." Dean said but Sam could see him trying to hide a smirk.

"Don't worry, I won't judge you, I like both too, I'm just usually not as forward with information as you are." Sam was speechless, he had no idea what to even say to that. Thank God Dean decided to pick up the conversation. "I like it. I mean the way your so forward and innocent still. You know what, you kind of remind me of an overgrown puppy. I like you. Want to come over and meet some of my friends?"

"Uh sure but if I leave my roommate alone too long he may wander off and get arrested, don't ask, so can I get him...?"

"Yea sure, the more the merrier." Dean answered with a slick smile and gestured Sam ahead so he could follow. Walking through the crowd Sam was well aware of the glares he was receiving, from both sexes, because he managed to get the attention of the guy that everyone wanted & could never get.

Smirking he walked up to Travis, pulled him away from two blonde twins he was pretty sure were high, and promising to explain later, dragged him along until the three were in there own little section with a few of Dean's friends. Introducing Sam and Travis to his friends Jess, Garth, and Jo, Dean decided he needed to talk more to this Sam kid. There was something about him that was totally likeable.

The party went on, the group of friends talking and laughing. Getting increasingly more and more drunk as the night went on. After a while a few of the group, including Travis, stumbled off with some other drunks and eventually it was just Sam and Dean. "Want to get out of here?" Dean asked an fairly drunk Sam. "Sure De, anything you want to do, I'll do anything you want to do, anything."

"Anything huh?" Dean asked amused, then added "and dude did you call me De?"

"Huh, I guess I did, ops. It's just that, your so adorable and I really like you but I know you don't hook up with anybody and I know I have no chance and, I'm sorry I ramble when I'm drunk, or nervous, or hyper...'" Sam rambled the whole time the two were walking.

"So you heard about the whole I don't hook up thing huh?"

"Uh well yea I kind of asked one of the Juniors about you when every body started talking about you. But it's cool dude. I don't blame you there. I just really like you but I'm sure you get that a lot and I was hoping we could put that aside and just be friends you know, because you, your really cool and your friends are too and I would like to hang around you guys again but I'm sure I just blew that because now you know I like you and Oh God I need to shut up...mmmfph." Was all the more Sam got out as Dean pushed him against a hard wall, and oh my god we're they in some back ally? Oh God Dean's kissing him. Kissing HIM. Moaning, Sam started kissing Dean back with fervor. He couldn't stop, he didn't want to ever stop. Pretty soon Dean had his hands underneath Sam's shirt and hoodie and was grinding up against him while still molesting his mouth. Sam couldn't even think. "Fuck.'"

"Yea that was the idea, mmm. So freaking sexy Sam. Need you."

"Oh Fuck Dean. Please."

"You think you can do that, can you fuck me Sam?"

"Want to, yea. Bu-but we probably shouldn't do this."

"Want you to Sam, oh God please. Haven't been this taken with anybody in years. Please. Need you." Dean said between placing chaste kisses along Sam's jaw and neck.

Quickly switching their positions with scary grace, Sam had Dean pressed up against the wall, grinding their cocks together and sucking lightly on Dean's neck, ear, anything he could get his mouth on.

"Fuck if we're actually going to do something we need to go somewhere more private. Come on," Dean said tugging Sam along with him towards his car. Sam knew that what was left of the party was going to see him leaving with Dean, and with a self-satisfied smirk Sam willingly followed Dean.

Shit, the car really was a beauty. "Stop staring and get in already dammit."

"Sorry," Sam said trying to hide a blush.

Upon Finally arriving at Dean's apartment, he left Sam in the car just saying he wanted to make sure the place was clean first. Sam really didn't care but let him to it. A few mins later Dean came back out and practically dragged Sam inside, pushing him through the door while kissing him senseless. Sam was tugging Dean's jacket off while Dean was trying to strip Sam of his hoodie. Eventually they were able to get all there top clothing off while kicking out of their shoes.

Pushing Sam down on his bed, Dean started kissing his way down Sam's amazing body until he reached his jeans. Unbuttoning them and tugging down the zipper, he tapped on Sam's leg to let him know to lift up so Dean could pull them the rest of the way off. After ridding Sam of his jeans, Dean got rid of his as well. Soon they were kissing and groping everywhere they could on each other, just needed and wanting more.

Sam flipped Dean onto his back in one swift move and started kissing down his jaw and neck. Dean pressed the lube from the nightstand table into Sam's hand with a 'come on' and Sam didn't waste anymore time. Soon Sam was pushing into Dean, rocking gently. It was strange how well they worked together. How it felt like they've know each other their whole lives. They just fit. Their connection was undeniable. It wasn't very long before they were falling apart in each others' arms. After coming back to himself, Dean got up and wiped them both clean before climbing back into bed and curling around Sam.

They didn't get much rest however, when Dean's phone started ringing with Sam's following not long after.

"What do you want Garth? Shit. Shit yea I'll be there in a second," Dean said hanging up.

Throwing clothes on and looking a little sheepish Sam mumbled into his phone before hanging up.

"I need to go save a friend down at the park, guess he got into a little bit of trouble."

"The park huh?" Dean said with a pause. "Dammit. Your a hunter aren't you?"

"I, Um. Yea."

"Shit. We got to go. Garth's down there with a few others, they're getting their asses handed to them by a group of demons. Guess we need to go play hero."

"Fuck," Sam said scrubbing his hands over his face. "Let's go."

Running as fast as they could the two took off towards to park to where Garth had told them to meet. They didn't get that far however, when they were surrounded by demons. Drawing weapons Dean started fighting off some of the advancing demons while Sam muttered an exorcism until finally they were all gone, at least for a while.

They finally found the others, surrounded by another group of demons.

"The hell? Why are they all converging here?" Sam asked.

"Dunno. But we best go find out."

By the time they reached the already in battle group Garth called out "These are some nasty son of a bitches, don't even respond to any exorcisms any of us know."

"Well ain't that just fucking great," Dean growled before being tossed by one of the demons. He was pretty sure he has a few broken ribs but Dean managed to get up and continue fighting until they were finally alone.

"What the hell was that?" seemed to be the group consensus. Garth and Jo made their way over to get to a now delirious Dean who was pretty badly beaten. Sam made it first, however, and picked Dean up into his arms started whispering reassurances and yelling at the others to get some help. As more people came running someone familiar pushed their way through the crowd.

"Bobby?"

"Sam? Oh God. Dean, Dean can you hear me?"

"Bobby?"

"Yes it's me you idjit, you stay with us ok, your daddy'll kill me if you die on us now."

"Yea ok."

"Wait you know Dean? Bobby please tell me what is going on?"

"Later kid, we have a lot to talk about, for now let's get him fixed up."


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em

Chapter: 2/?

Rating: N/C 17

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest

Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse

Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)

Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Ch. 2

As soon as Sam stood with Dean still in his arms Dean promptly passed out. "Dean, Dean come on man...Dean..."

"Just come on Sam, you need to get him somewhere so you can get him better," Jo advised.

"Yea, yea ok," he responded a little bewildered and trudged to Bobby's truck. Carefully maneuvering he managed to lay Dean down in the back and slide in, resting Dean's head on his lap.

"Ready to go? The others will keep watch and make sure no more unwanted guests show up on the campus tonight."

"Yea, let's go."

Upon arriving at Bobby's the hunters set to work patching Dean up. After resting for a few hours Dean started to gain consciousness.

"B-Bobby? Sam? What hap'end?" A still slightly groggy Dean asked.

"You took a few pretty big blows trying to cover our asses kid. Stupid idjit," but it was said with only affection behind it.

"O-Oh. Okay. Yea. Goin' back to sleep now," Dean managed to get out right before wrapping his hand around Sam's and falling back asleep.

"So, Sam, want to tell me how you know Dean here?"

"Do you want to tell me how you know Dean first?" Sam questioned back.

"Well, that's a bit more complicated boy. You and Dean friends yea? Did you meet each other hunting?"

"Not exactly."

"Not exactly to which part?"

"Both," Sam muttered turning bright red.

"Sam?"

"We kinda uh, just meet at a part tonight? Our friends happened to all get cornered and called us for help at the same time and that's when we grabbed gear and ran and well now were here..."

"Something you want to tell me kid?"

"Uh, I'm bi?"

"Oh God, and Dean?"

"He is too?" Sam said almost questioningly wincing at the look of shock Bobby was giving him.

"Wait, you didn't know? Seriously? Cause I've never been one to really hide it, I mean I did from Dad but never any one else."

"I need to talk to your father...Son of a bitch! The fucking idgit, I knew this would all blow up in his face one day! Bobby half muttered half ranted while walking over to get his phone. "Keep him calm and don't let him try and stand up to fast or anything if he tries getting out of bed. Let me know when he wakes up. We all gotta talk."

Now Sam was really fucking confused. Bobby knew Dean? Did they hunt together before? He seemed to know Dean pretty well, why would Bobby have never mentioned Dean? What is going on? Bobby had said about Dean's dad...wait. Dean had said he was from Kansas, he never goes back there, their strange connection to one another, Bobby never mentioning Dean to Sam before...It couldn't be...Omg...No, they look nothing alike, Sam was just being paranoid, yea that's it, he was paranoid. Although, Bobby did say something about something blowing up in John's face and...Omg his brother never died! His brother was never killed. His brother was right here currently unconscious in his arms. His brother whom he just fucked! He was so going to kill his dad for this. This, this was unforgivable, and in a long like of John Winchester fuck ups, this was the one that would break the family apart forever.

A few minuets later when Bobby came back into the room all Sam said was "We're not telling Dean," in a cold and calculating voice that chilled even Bobby. "& I don't care if I ever see dad again."

Still a bit taken aback, Bobby asked "Well what are you gonna do? Never tell Dean and be his boyfriend?" meaning it sarcastically.

"Yes, that is exactly what I'm going to do."


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em

Chapter: 3/?

Rating: N/C 17

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest

Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse

Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)

Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Ch. 3

"So what Sam?" Bobby asked later as they sat around the kitchen table at the apartment Sam was currently renting. "What are you going to do? Keep secrets from Dean? How are you going to do that for too long? You think your daddy really isn't going to find out? You know that your dad and me aren't the only ones who know right?"

"Then why Bobby? Why did dad do this? Explain that to me and maybe, maybe I'll tell Dean!"

"That's up to your dad to do himself Sam. I will be on his ass to call you though. You need to know. Anyway Sam, do you really think Dean won't figure it out? You did!"

"Not if I lead him off the trail, if I don't let him think like that."

"This isn't a good idea Sam. It really isn't but your as stubborn as your daddy _and your brother_ and I'm not going to be able to change your mind."

"No, your not," and with that Sam went back upstairs to his brother.

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Sam honestly didn't know how long he would be able to keep up the facade but he hoped to at least buy himself a few days in order for Dean to get better and for Sam to figure out a way to tell Dean. How does one go about telling the guy they just fucked that he was his long lost brother, that their father, and Bobby, and most likely Pastor Jim and God knows who else have been lying to them? This is seriously fucked up. The only thing Sam knew for sure was that he loved Dean, and possibly in more than a brotherly way, and two, he needed to call his father. He needed answers before he even contemplated telling Dean anything.

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"Fuck."

John knew he should have been more careful, he knew he shouldn't have let both his boys go to the same college. Of course they would find each other! How could he have been so stupid? Bobby assured him that only Sam knew the truth, or well part of the truth at the moment. He should have been more careful, FUCK! Thinking that the huge campus and different majors would be enough to keep those two apart was his first mistake. Now what were they going to do?

Sam and Dean would never forgive any of them, no less leave each other now...they were in some serious deep shit...

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Dammit Dad pick up the phone! Typical John, never answers for him when he actually needs him to! FUCK! Whatever, he had Dean back, all they needed was each other. Fuck everyone else. Dean would understand in time why Sam has to lie for a little while, just until Sam figures out what the fuck is going on.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?  
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em  
Chapter: 4/?  
Rating: N/C 17  
Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest  
Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse  
Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)  
Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Ch. 4

Sam kept pacing the floor in his room in his apartment with Bobby. Dean, his _brother _Dean was still lying unconscious on the bed and Sam was growing more worried by the minuet. He honestly had no idea what was going to happen but he knew he needed Dean to be ok. Sam hoped that Dean's wounds hadn't gotten an infection or something but his brother's temperature seemed to be staying normal.

Meanwhile Bobby was pacing the kitchen floor wondering where the hell everything went so wrong. He never agreed with John's decision and neither did Pastor Jim but in the end Sam and Dean were his boys and they did what John asked them to. Keeping the boys apart proved hard, slipping one to one place while the other was with John and then back again. Bobby is actually kind of happy that they were able to find each other, he just wished the circumstances could be different.

Not too long after Sam and Bobby sat down for an awkward and very quiet dinner Dean started waking up. Sam was there to sooth him and keep him calm and to help make him comfortable. Sam explained that he knew Bobby because his father was a hunter and he'd sometimes stay with Bobby and Dean and him must have just missed each other over the years while being shuffled around. For the time being Dean seemed satisfied with that answer and asked Sam to stay while drifting back off to sleep.

"Dammit kid I didn't think you would actually go through with it. Your really not going to tell him are you?"

"I want to. I do. But I want to know what's going on first. I want to know why dad did this, and seeing as how you or Pastor Jim won't say a word and dad won't answer his goddamn phone as usual, I'm not saying anything. Once I know, I'll tell Dean. He can make his decision then."

"Dammit boy you can't keep this, whatever this is between you two, up! Your brothers, it's wrong! How do you think Dean's going to feel about this? Your his little brother! He carried you out of that fire only to later be told you were killed anyway! He NEVER forgave himself thinking it was HIS fault and I never forgave your daddy for that!"

"Wait he blamed himself?...All these years..." Sam whispered while gently stroking over Dean's face. "DAMMIT DAD! Is it possible to hate the man anymore than I already do? How could he do that to Dean, to us? I need answers Bobby and this is exactly why I'm not telling Dean until I've got them! I need to be able to know how to handle it, what exactly to say to make the sting not so bad for him. I love him and he will NOT go through what I am right now ok?"

"I get it Sam, I really do but I don't think Dean is going to see all this that way. Just, be careful...and no screwing while I'm anywhere around!"

After Bobby left, Sam contented himself on laying alongside Dean and running a hand through Dean's surprisingly soft hair.

"It's going to be ok Dean, I don't know how, but it will be I promise."

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"Sam?"

"Hey Dean. How you feeling?"

"What's going on? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Dean's question took Sam off guard, he really needed to stop 'wearing his heart on his sleeve' as people put it. "Like what?" He deflected. "It's just, everything makes more sense now, just waiting for a phone call and I can tell you the whole story." Sam said while pacing with his phone in hand.

Sam only managed to confused Dean more. "What whole story?"

"God I'm sorry Dean! I'm so sorry about everything, everything that happened and that's about to happen just, when you find out and get angry, just remember that I'm sorry and try not to hate me."

"Sam are you _drunk_?"

"Maybe a teeny tiny bit? God I'm so sorry Dean."

"Will you stop fucking apologizing and just tell me what's going on?"

"I can't. Not yet. But soon. I promise."

"Okay, okay yea. Soon though Sam."

Exhausted from the events Sam laid down next to Dean once again and curled around him. "I'm sorry, it's just been a long few hours since that attack and I'm just too physically and emotionally exhausted. Just, hold me for a little bit?" Sam asked.

"Yea, yea sure ok. Come here."

Dean held onto Sam while Sam fell into a fitful sleep, stroking a gentle hand up and down his back to try and sooth the kid. Dean didn't know what was going on but he didn't like the feeling of dread he was getting.

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Sam woke up to Dean kissing up and down his neck, hot mouth working the skin and tongue doing this thing that had Sam instantly hard. Fuck he knows he should probably stop this, tell Dean no, but there was no way in hell he was going to. Dean may be his brother but Sam wanted him in a decidedly non-brother way.

Dean kept working his way down Sam's body, mouth so hot and wet against his skin, hand following the wet trail he was leaving behind, pausing to lightly play with Sam's nipples. Dean's mouth was sinful and as he took Sam into his mouth it was all Sam could do to not loose it right there. "Fuck Dean, so good, so goddamn hot." Sam groaned. He could hear Dean pop the cap on the lube and the next thing Sam knew Dean was pushing a slick finger into him. Fuck that was so hot. Sam hadn't bottomed before but he wanted nothing more than to feel Dean inside of him.

"Dean please."

"Please what baby boy? Tell me what you want Sam."

"You. Inside me. Now."

Dean just chuckled. "Your not ready yet, I need to prep you just a little bit more, I'm a lot bigger than one finger. Relax. I've got you."

Fuck Dean's raspy voice was pure sex and Sam had to bite his lip to stop himself from coming.

"God, so sexy Dean."

Dean kept teasing Sam while opening him up with his fingers, by the time Sam was taking three fingers he was basically incoherent and babbling, begging Dean. Finally, and not a minuet too soon for Sam, Dean lubed himself up and slowly pushed in.

Sam fisted the sheets, the burning and stretching an unpleasant feeling at the moment. Dean was soon by his ear whispering what a good boy he was and to breath through it and promising that it would feel good soon.

By the time Dean started moving Sam was getting used to the feeling, and by Dean's third or so thrust he was feeling nothing but pleasure. Then Sam remembered Dean's most likely broken ribs and immediately stopped Dean's movements.

"Dean, your ribs. Your going to end up hurting yourself even more. Here let me..." Sam trailed off while ever so carefully flipping Dean onto his back so Sam was riding him and doing all the work. "There, that's better. Don't want you to overdo it ok? Think you can just lay there for me?"

"I can try."

"Okay, good...Fuck so good." Sam said as he continued to ride Dean, being sure to watch Dean's face for any signs of pain or discomfort. Having been on edge for a while, Sam couldn't hold off long and came hard, muscles clenching around Dean triggering his release.

Sam pulled off with a wince and walked over to the bathroom to get a washcloth to clean them both up. Dean looked pretty tired again so Sam let him drift off to sleep while he went to make something for them to eat. He had no idea how this was going to work but it had to somehow. He knew he couldn't lie to Dean forever about them being brothers, but he was going to enjoy it while he could. He never felt like this with anyone else and it felt so damn good. He also knew it would all come to an end the second he tells Dean the truth.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em

Chapter: 5/?

Rating: N/C 17

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest

Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse

Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)

Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Ch. 5

While Sam was milling around in the kitchen preparing dinner his mind was working in overdrive. He kept trying to figure out how his dad managed to do it. Sam remembers seeing the Impala sitting outside of Bobby's once, now that he's really thinking about it. Dad only ever had the truck when Sam with with him. Probably only had the Impala when Dean was. Figures he would even think of that. He knew the Impala would go to Dean and Sam would wonder what happened to the car. Fuck him. He never should have let them believe the other was dead.

Grabbing the noodles off the stove as they started boiling over, Sam hoped dinner could be salvaged. He really should have been paying more attention. He never has quite got the hang of this gas stove. He just couldn't help let his mind wonder however. Soon he is going to have to tell Dean and Dean is never going to forgive any of them. Bobby was right. If Sam could keep on lying to Dean for ever and just be his boyfriend he would, but that won't ever happen. Not with running in the same circles, having the same friends, being hunters. Word would get out and Dean would be hurt even more. No either Sam or their father had to be to one to break this news. Fuck. He's going to loose Dean, he just needs to accept that. Whenever their father decides to man up and take responsibility for his actions and decides to tell them, that's when Sam will tell Dean that he knew they were brothers.

With a heavy heart but wanting to give Dean a nice meal and a good night Sam climbed the stairs to the bedroom where Dean was currently resting.

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After a nice dinner and pie for desert, of course, Sam sent Dean to relax while he quickly cleaned up the kitchen. In the middle of putting the clean dishes away Sam could hear his phone going off, he quickly answered, expecting it to be Bobby. He dropped the pot he was holding when the voice of John Winchester came through the phone causing a loud metal bang on the hardwood floor.

"Everything ok Sam?" Dean yelled down the stairs.

"Yea, everything's fine Dean, I'll be up in a min!"

Turning his attention back to his father, Sam sighed.

"It's about Damn time you called. I've been trying to get ahold of you! First off, your son, was pretty badly injured in a demon fight, & that's not even mentioning that YOU LIED ABOUT DEAN DIEING DAD!" Sam said in a low growl. "OH AND THE FACT THAT YOU TOLD DEAN THE SAME THING ABOUT ME! DO YOU KNOW THAT DEAN BLAMED HIMSELF? HE THOUGHT HE DID SOMETHING WRONG! THAT HE DIDN'T TAKE CARE OF ME!"

"Fuck, Sam I had no idea..."

"YEA WELL BOBBY DID."

"How, How did you find out? I'm sorry Sammy, I had to keep you boys apart and there was no other way. I knew you would look for each other till you found each other if you knew the other was still alive. I'll explain everything when I get there."

"YOU- Wait what? Your coming? Here? When?" Sam questioned feeling his stomach drop and his hands start to shake.

"I'm leaving now, should be there by...tomorrow around noon."

"Oh, ok I guess. Dad just tell me why, why did you keep us apart? Is it something I should know now? Demons have come looking for us and Dean's hurt, I need to keep him protected. Please Dad, just tell me. I promise to wait to tell Dean until you get here."

"Fuck Sammy. Because you two will bring on the Apocalypse of the world. If your never together, then it can't happen. You would have to either kill Dean or he'd have to kill you. I figured that I could stop it from ever happening by keeping you apart. I guess that wasn't how it was supposed to go though. I'm not really sure about much else but that I do know."

"Fuck, Dad, what? Why us? That doesn't even make sense! Are you serious?"

"Do you really think I would have kept you away from your brother if I wasn't?"

"No. I guess not. Ok Dad, noon tomorrow."

"Bye son, and I really am sorry Sam."

"I know."

Sam lowered the phone just staring at the disconnected call screen until Dean called for him again.

"I'm heading up now!" Sam answered back. Still shaking he pocketed his phone and started walking towards the stairs. Fuck he couldn't cry, not now. Later. He still had tonight to be with Dean and he was going to make the most of it.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em

Chapter: 6/?

Rating: N/C 17

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest

Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse

Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)

Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Ch. 6

Making love to Dean for the last time is going to be hard. Probably the hardest thing Sam ever has to do. He knows they've only been together for a few days but he knows he's never going to be right without Dean.

"Sam are you ok? You seem...sad, like your ready to break apart at any moment."

"Hmm? No I'm ok. Just, Dean just...make love to me?"

"Sam are you sure your okay?" Dean asked again, eyes filled with concern at Sam's broken voice and the un-shed tears shining in his hazel eyes.

"I will be Dean, I will be," Sam said before kissing Dean with all the love and passion he felt for him. If it was the last time it was going to fucking matter. It was going to be passionate and he would, he _would_, convey his love to Dean. Even if it wouldn't matter in the end, even if Dean was going to hate him and be disgusted with him either way, Sam would know and it would matter to him.

Almost aggressively Sam undressed himself and Dean, eager to be able to feel him skin on skin again. He kept trying to push the voices away that were reminding him this was the last time he'd ever have this, have Dean, have them again. Sam kissed Dean's body all over, up and down, side to side til he was sure he kissed every section of his brothers skin. Laying lightly on Dean Sam took Dean's face into his hands and gently but fervently kissed his lips, then his eyelids, then his forehead before burying his face into Dean's shoulder. Sliding down his brother's body Sam slowly opened Dean up, getting him ready. Sam needed to take this slow. Needed to catalog everything about this, about Dean, and they way he looked right now, blissed out in pleasure. It would be the only thing Sam has left once he leaves. Just the memories.

As he was pushing into Dean for the last time Sam had to fight back tears. It was so perfect. So much love. So much adoration. Sam briefly wishes that Dean could feel the same way even after he finds out but he shuts that thought down quickly knowing it would never happen.

Sam throws everything he has into making love to Dean. His whole body, all his emotions, his whole soul for crying out loud. He knows Dean can tell, can tell Dean's worried as fuck, knows something is up, something is wrong. He soothes Dean bringing them both over the edge soon there after.

He gently pulls Dean into the shower with him after they rest for a while and slowly washes him. Hand on Dean's muscular body, washing him with the care of a lover. Hand in his hair, lightly massaging shampoo and conditioner, carefully rinsing. Sam lets Dean return the sentiment once again committing every single thing, every sense to memory.

Once they are done lovingly drying each other, Sam is emotionally exhausted and Dean manages to maneuver him to bed, get him to lay on his side, and curl around him, making Sam feel loved as he drifts off to sleep for what he is sure will be the very last time.

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Waking up still wrapped in Dean's arms Sam's practically hyperventilating. He knows he has to get up and get moving. He needs to leave. He knows that. They all are going to want him gone and if his dad is right then perhaps Dean will be safer without him around. Oh god, he's really going to do this. He's really leaving Dean after just finding him. Sam can't stop the few tears that leak out as he runs to the bathroom to throw up.

After he manages to stop dry heaving Sam quietly throws some stuff into a few duffles and loads the car. He figures he has everything that he will need and anything else he can get Bobby to send to him whenever he figures out where he's going. As he climbing the steps he hears Dean up and about, climbing the stairs with a feeling of dread Sam backs Dean up against the wall by the door and kisses him almost manically. He can't stop the sobs that escape as he kisses Dean's lips with light kisses not willing to stop, not willing to admit he's had his last kiss with Dean.

"Why do I get the feeling that this is goodbye? It's not goodbye is it Sam?...Sam?"

"Oh God, Dean...I love you. You gotta remember that ok? I love you. I know once you find everything out your going to hate me but just, I love you ok. I love you so so much. Just remember that for me. No matter what happens I will always love you. Always Dean. Gonna miss you so much, so much. It already hurts," Sam blubbered while lightly Kissing Dean's face and running his hand over any part of Dean he could touch. Sam tilted Dean's lips up and place a chaste kiss there, whimpering when he pulled away and walked out the door leaving a very confused Dean calling after him.

Sam felt like he soul was being broken to pieces, his heart shattered. He could barley breathe but he knew he had to do this. Just get outside, get into the car and start it. Drive away. Just keep driving for a while and then he could stop and let every broken emotion out. He should probably call Bobby though and let him know what's going on. Reaching for his phone he realized he must have left it on the kitchen counter. Racing back into the house, hoping to avoid Dean, he heard the damn traitorous thing ringing. Then he heard Dean answer it. FUCK!

"Sam? What the hell is going on?" Dean turned to him as he walked through the door holding up Sam's cell phone with the caller ID saying Dad and John's voice booming through.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em

Chapter: 7/?

Rating: N/C 17

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest

Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse

Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)

Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Ch. 7

Sam promptly, looking like a dear caught in the headlights, turned and ran out the door with a fairly irate and confused Dean trying to chase him down. Knowing that he was never going to catch Sam once he drove off he gave up and figured the best way to find him would to figure out what the hell is going on.

"Dad?" Dean inquired into the phone. "Please tell me this isn't what I think it is."

"Dean, where is Sammy?" Johns gruff and no-bullshit tone sounded through.

"I don't know dad, why don't you tell me where Sammy is huh? Cause I was told he was dead. But it seems as that's not the case now is it? So do you care to explain that to me dad?"

"Fuck, he ran off without his phone? God dammit! We need to find him, he could be in danger and so could you, so try to stay alert and I'll be there in about ten mins. I'll explain everything then."

Dean swore loudly as the call disconnected and slammed his fist into the wall causing his knuckles to swell and redden.

"Son of a Bitch! Sam what have you done?" Dean was sure as hell confused, and by the way Sam was acting and ran out of there he had to have realized earlier that they were indeed brothers. Shit! What the fuck was he thinking? Now he's ran off with no protection and a horde of Demons after him. Oh and not to mention no fucking cell phone to trace.

Son of a bitch! He slept with his brother, with his baby brother! Oh God. He slept with his baby brother. Not just once, oh no multiple times. Just how many of those times did Sam know what he was doing? The last for sure, Dean knew by the way Sam was acting that something was up. "Shit what are we gonna do now Sammy? Why did you do this?"

Not long after Dean's little freak out John showed up with Bobby in tow. As the two started bombarding questions about where Sam could have went Dean was growing impatient. "I wouldn't fucking know! I just found out that my baby brother was still alive, that you all obviously knew about it, and that he must have figured it out days ago and still continued to sleep with me!"

"He What?" John growled, turning to Bobby he asked "Did you know about this?"

"It was the kids decision to make. I warned him to tell Dean but he insisted on waiting for your sorry ass to call and explain everything first."

"You think you could have warned a guy that he was defiling his BABY BROTHER Bobby?"

"How the, what the, Dean your not gay!"

"No I'm not, I'm Bi and so is Sam, have a problem with it? Cause you know what? I really don't care right now if you do, seeing as how you kept Sam away from me for all these years letting me believe he was DEAD! Care to explain that one dad?"

"Later. I need to get ahold of Sam. How the fuck could he do something so sick? Looks like everyone was right Bobby, Sam's turned evil. I don't know how I couldn't have noticed that."

"What dad? SAM is NOT evil ok? Just calm down!"

Amongst the screaming and yelling between John and Dean, Bobby's land line started ringing.

Letting out a breath Bobby answered with a "Sammy." causing the two eldest Winchesters to shut up.

"Let me talk to him."

"Now John, I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Robert, let me talk to my son. Now." John demanded once again.

"Here, just, take it easy, the kid's scared to death and confused to hell."

"What the hell did you do Sammy?"


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em

Chapter: 8/?

Rating: N/C 17

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest

Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse

Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)

Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Ch. 8

"Dad I, I don't know dad. I knew I had to leave, I had to..."

"Sam! What the hell is wrong with you? What in the hell would possess you to do something like that? It's sick Sam! Your BROTHERS!"

"I, I didn't know at first! We met at a party and, somewhere in between there and Dean getting hurt I fell in...I fell in love with him, and then I figured out we were brothers, but I, I couldn't just shut it off ok! The feelings were still there and I know I shouldn't have let things continue but I couldn't stop, I couldn't. I don't know what's wrong with me! Dad...I didn't want to hurt Dean! I never want to hurt Dean and I already have so much and with what you said I got scared so I left! If I'm not near Dean I can't hurt him!"

"Sam, you remember what we talked about on the phone? It's happening. Now. Small gestures like this until you get out of control. You need to put and end to it Sam, before it does get worse. You _will_ hurt Dean, but by that point it won't matter to you. You need to put a stop to it now."

By this point Sam was sobbing uncontrollably sitting on some crappy bed in some cheap dingy motel, not far away but far enough. "Dad what are you saying?"

"I think you know what I'm saying Sam."

"Yea ok, ok, yea I can do that. I can. Ok. Ok." Sam rambled. Taking a huge breath and letting it out Sam then asked "Can I talk to Dean?"

"He doesn't want anything to do with you, you disgust him. Goodbye Sam."

"Dad-" but if fell on death ears as his father hung up. Ok Sam knew what he had to do. If he got worse he would definitely do it. He wanted to put some things into place first to protect Dean from everything. If he could hold out a few more days, maybe a little longer he could make sure Dean would be safe and then he'd protect Dean from himself as well. It hurt knowing that Dean hated him now but he knew this was coming, he deserved it, he just needed to deal with knowing he fucked up badly and lost Dean for the rest of eternity. Okay deep breaths...he could do this.

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"DAD WHAT THE HELL! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO HIM!" Dean was furious. Sam had wanted to talk to him and his father flat out lied to Sam. "After you basically told him to kill himself, and for what? SAM. Is. Not. EVIL! Okay get it through your damn head because HE'S NOT EVIL!" Dean continued to yell at his father.

He was so mad, so mad and so scared that Sam was going to do something drastic because of what their father had said. Grabbing his jacket and keys Dean was out the door and in the Impala faster than either John or Bobby could figure out what he was doing. If he thought he had the time, he would have punched his father in the face, if for nothing else then to knock some sense into him.

"Dammit Dean don't! You have no idea what is going on! Let me explain everything to you!"

"Sammy seemed to know what I don't, he can explain it to me when I find him. And you better hope and pray to whatever damn thing it out there that he's ok when I get there."

With that Dean pealed out of the drive with less care for his baby than usual, and headed for the highway figuring on going East for about an hour and then stopping at every cheap motel he found until his found his, his what? Lover? Brother? Damn this is confusing. Well either way...his Sammy.

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"John what the hell was that?" Bobby usually kept quiet about issues when it came to John's boys, but he had enough of John treating Sam like he was something evil.

"The boy is confused as hell and scared to death and you tell him that? I don't even know which thing I'm more pissed off about right now! And before you even say anything I raised those boys as much, if not more, than you did and you are way out of line right now! That's Sammy you were talking to! Your Sammy, your little boy! He didn't ask for that damn demon to give him demon blood as a baby no more than Dean asked for the angels to try an' counter it by giving him angel grace. They don't even know the whole story and you need to find them, both of them and tell them. Sam's your son John. He's a Winchester and he loves Dean. Perhaps not in the way that he should but then again who's fault is that? What I'm trying to say here is that Sam is stronger than your giving him credit for. He's not going to turn."

"Fuck. I don't know what to think anymore Bobby! What am I supposed to think when I'm told my boys will be the ones to bring on the apocalypse?! I thought keeping them apart would do the trick but obviously I was wrong, it just messed things up more. Your right though. About Sammy. God I'm such an idiot. I need to find them."

The two friends and hunters ran out, jumping in John's truck and took off after Dean hoping to catch up with him and Sammy before anything bad happened to either of the boys.

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Meanwhile, a group of hunters were gathering outside of Palo Alto gathering gear together and making plans.

"I heard about the attack in the park the other day, do you think he was responsible?"

"Could have been, I talked to a few of the hunters that were there but they are all friends of either of the boys and were of no help. Keeping pretty tight lipped about the whole thing if you ask me. Had no idea that they were brothers though, guess Sam wanted it that way."

"So I guess asking them for help is out of the question. Damn. Well we better get a move on it before that boy does something else to someone else. John, Dean, and Bobby will forgive us eventually, once they realize what a danger Sam is."

"I sure hope your right. I just think we should be trying to find out more to the story before we run off half cocked and kill an innocent kid. A Winchester no less. You know demons tend to lie right? What's not to say that this is what they want, Sam out of the picture, and are using us and our fears to get their job done?"

"No, there is a reason John kept Sam and Dean apart for all those years. Now we know why. Dean isn't a threat but Sam needs to be taken out. I'm sorry. Are you in or not?"

"Yea, yea I guess I'm in. Let's go."

The blonde jumped in her truck with her sister and uncle and filled them in. Hoping they could reach the Winchesters before the group of hunters did they took off, flying up the highway to where they were pretty sure they had a good lead on where Sam was currently staying. They just hoped they could warn them before it was too late.


	9. Chapter 9

Ch. 9

Dean almost passed up the motel where Sam was, just catching Sam's car out of the corner of his eye as he was flying down the road. He swung the Impala into the parking lot so fast and threw her into park. Before he knew it he was running up to the clerk asking which room Sam was staying in. Giving him a bored look and looking up Sam's room number, the clerk pointed him in the right direction adding a 'No funny business' as Dean was practically running towards where Sam was.

Reaching the room Dean actually got nervous. He had no idea what he was going to say to Sam. He still wasn't sure what he felt about anything for that matter, driven by adrenaline since the whole thing started, he hadn't thought about much other than finding Sam and making sure he was ok.

Deciding to try the door first, figuring that Sam may not open it if he knows it's Dean, he finds it unlocked. Pushing the door open quietly, he finds that Sam's laying face down on the bed talking into a cheap trac phone sounding hysterical.

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Sam got a call from Jo warning him about the group of hunters that thinks he's evil and she had no idea why him, other than that he happened to be there when the horde of demons attacked, and one of them had said something about a demon warning him about Sam. She wanted to make sure he was alright and he assured her he was even though it was far from the truth. No use in making her worry or taking the chance of her getting in the middle of it and getting hurt. She'd find out in time he supposes.

Well maybe he couldn't put the protections in place that he wanted to, but if there are that many hunters wanting to protect the world from Sam then Dean should be ok. Most other hunters seemed to love Dean and would keep him safe. Taking a deep breath Sam grabbed his crap phone and dialed his old number hoping that Dean would have it and would answer, he wanted to talk to his brother one last time.

He called but it went to voice mail so he decided to leave Dean a message hoping he may get it someday.

"Hey, uh, it's me, Sam. I, I'm leaving this for Dean. Dean please just listen to me. I'm so sorry, so so sorry. I miss you so much and I love you and I'm so sorry for hurting you like I did. I know you hate me and I know I disgust you and dad and probably Bobby but it's ok. It's going to be taken care of real soon." Sam paused before continuing.

"There's a group of hunters, they're coming for me. I'm not going to fight, just going to let them do what they came to do. Hopefully it'll be quick but I'll deserve it if it isn't, I know that. I really wanted to hear your voice, try to keep myself calm so I don't try and run off. I know this needs to be done, I'm just scared. I'm so scared De...and, I know this is for the best, I know, and that's it's going to be ok because it's going to keep everybody safe. I'm just going to miss you. Don't hate me forever for saying this but the memories of us, the last few days of us together, are what's going to have to get me through eternity because I know I'll never see you again."

Hearing squealing tires and a car flying into the parking lot with a door slam not too long later, Sam finished up his phone call. "I, I got to go. Someone's here now. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I hope you can forgive me someday. Goodbye Dean."

Hearing the door close behind him Sam jumped a little and then took a readying breath trying to stay calm in the face of his death. Turning his head slightly to see Dean standing there he tensed up, turning his face back into the pillow.

"Fuck I knew others were coming for me, I just didn't think it would be you De. It's ok I'm glad it is. Just make it quick ok, I'm scared to death and just want it over before I do something stupid."

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"Sammy, Sam what are you talking about? I'm not going to hurt you, I am not here to hurt you, hey listen," Dean tried to calm Sam walking over to him and laying beside him soothing a hand over his hair and back. "I'm right here, nothing bad is going to happen. I don't care what dad said Sammy, your not evil. No matter what happened Sam your not evil. That doesn't make you evil. It's all going to be ok."

Holding a trembling and crying Sam in his arms dean just layed there placing soft kisses to his head and letting him cry it out.

"Others are coming for me you know. They're going to kill me if you don't so just please De. Please do it. I know you'll do it quick, I know you'll make it painless, please."

"Dammit Sammy I'm not going to kill you and neither are they, come on we've got to go, we have to keep moving then because if they are hunters worth their salt, they will find you. Hurry and get everything into the Impala, come on Sam move it!" Dean yelled as Sam just layed there not moving.

"No, Dean. No. It has to be done. I was going to do it myself anyway just, let them do it ok. But you need to leave. They may hurt you trying to get to me and I won't let it happen. You already have bruised ribs, don't get hurt anymore. It'll be ok, I promise. You'll understand in time."

"I don't think so Sammy. We're leaving here even if I have to knock you unconscious and drag your sorry ass out of here you understand me?" Dean ranted while throwing the little of Sam's stuff he unpacked back into his bag and hefted it onto his shoulders, "Come on Sam, let's go."

Deciding that following Dean would be the only way to get Dean to leave and keep him protected from the others, Sam ran to the bathroom and then followed Dean out to the cars where Dean had already unloaded Sam's stuff into the back of the Impala and was locking up Sam's car.

"Come on, Dad just called and I filled him and Bobby in. They are going to wait here for the other hunters, we're going on the run. Dad's going to call later and finally fill us in on the whole story ok? So anywhere in particular you ever wanted to go?"

"Grand Canyon," Sam answered automatically.

Dean just chuckled and replied "Come on let's go then," while smoothly backing the Impala away from the motel. He pushed a Metallica tape into the deck and pushed down on the gas knowing he was going to have to speed until they were a good distance away. With his right side now facing Sam, Sam noticed the red and bruised knuckles on Dean's hand. Without thinking he gently picked it up off of the steering wheel and gently rubbed the thumb over the bruises.

"What happened?" He softly questioned.

"I may have smashed a wall when you took off. You scared the hell out of me taking off like that when dad said you could be in trouble. He was thinking more demon trouble and not other hunters though. He really is sorry, believe me it took almost an hour of convincing before I believed him. Well that and Bobby vouching for him. He's scared of something Sam, whatever it is, whatever's going on he's scared."

Well it looks like Dean's going to play into the typically Winchester way of dealing with things, by ignoring it. Sam hated when his dad did that, looks like Dean's going to be the same, but perhaps with this it would be ok. They can act like brothers and pretend like nothing ever happened. He may not have Dean in the way he wants him, but he'd still have Dean in his life and that would be ok. Although, he was still holding Dean's hand, and Dean hadn't pulled away. Could Dean be just a confused about this as Sam himself was?


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em

Chapter: 10/?

Rating: N/C 17

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest

Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse

Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)

Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Ch. 10

Saying dad to Sam in the context of John being _their_ dad was going to take some time to get used to. Hell of lot of this was going to take some time to get used to. Sam was still clutching his hand, but he didn't feel the need to pull it away. Not yet. Brothers or not, they've just spent the last few days being lovers and that's not something you can switch off right away. They'd get there, even Sam, Dean had faith. They had to because Dean couldn't loose Sammy again, he just couldn't.

Now to figure out what to do about these hunters and what the hell provoked them into wanting to hunt another hunter. He knows Dad and Bobby probably have it somewhat under control but there are going to be some who don't listen and are still going to be looking for Sam so their first priority had to be keeping Sam safe. Everything else could be put on the back burner for now.

"Now everybody is going to know our known alias but luckily I know a guy not too far from here where we can get new fake ID's, Insurance cards, the works. Then we'll drive through till we get far enough away from here that none of them will be able to catch us. They will then have to send other hunters out but by then, word of mouth will get some messed up, others won't believe, and the group of those actually looking for us will dwindle," Dean stated getting down to business.

"You sure you can trust this guy Dean?"

"Positive. He'll hook us up real nice Sammy and then we can stay under the radar of the others until we figure this whole mess out."

"All of it Dean?"

Sam could see Dean tense at his question but then he slipped back into his cool and calm demeanor. "Yes, Everything Sam."

Soon the two brothers were in possession of new fakes and a bunch more protection that Dean wasn't able to grab in his hurried leave, and on the run together.

After the tension had been somewhat released in the gaining of new identified for the two, a new tension began to creep into their little world in the Impala. Dean for the most part did a good impression of ignoring it but Sam was getting antsy the longer they drove in silence.

"Dean," Sam started to whine...

"Shut up Sam. Not now."

"Then when Dean? We need to talk about this. All of it."

"I said we would Sam, just not now ok?"

"Fine," Sam pouted and slouched back in his seat.

After a while longer of driving in silence Dean decided to break it.

"Sam, look, it's just confusing as hell and I don't really know what to say or think right now, just give me a little bit of time, we'll get there. Wherever there is, we'll get there together.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em

Chapter: 11/?

Rating: N/C 17

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest

Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse

Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)

Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Ch. 11

Meanwhile, Bobby and John were dealing with a mess of their own. Upon arriving at the hotel where Dean had found Sam they were rushed by three other hunters who were out of their minds with worry about the Winchester boys. The oldest girl was the first to talk.

"We went to the meeting they all called. I wanted to find out what was going on exactly, it was too hard for me to believe that either of those boys could be 'evil' in any sense. I tired to talk them out of it but it was no use, I knew that our best bet was to find them or you guys before they found Sam. So care to fill us in before the others get here?"

"Well, uh...?"

"Amber."

"Amber, long story short, my sons were made pawns in an up-coming supernatural war when they were just children. Sam was given demon blood and then to counter-act Dean was given angel grace. Neither of them know this yet but Dean has Sam and they are in the process of acquiring new Id's and the works and are on the run."

"Okay good," the elder man spoke up. "Hi I'm Dwight, Amber and Kayla's Uncle, he said gesturing to the two girls."

"Nice to meet you Dwight."

"So now, if you know where they were headed we need to send the others in the opposite directions, they still think we are with them so we can use this to our advantage. You two take off and try to stay under the radar for a few days also, I'll contact you after I get them sent off."

"Okay Dwight, here's my cell and here's Bobby's land-line, we will probably go there. Most of them will be looking for us at his apartment he had with Sammy."

"Okay stay safe."

"You lot also."

"So," Amber said, "I'm guessing they know they are brothers now. And I'm guessing that is why John kept them apart. Makes sense now, huh," she mused.

"I guess so. Damn, I wish I had known they were brothers, you know they left that party the other night together right? And after the fight in the park...I was there Amb, I saw how Sam was looking at Dean and it sure as hell wasn't brotherly."

"Kay, I'm sure it was nothing, come it it's not like Dean ever took any lovers, they were probably just hanging out."

"Not according to Sean. He saw them in a heavy make-out session right before they walked back to Dean's car, which is amazing by the way, to leave."

"Stop gossiping girls, this is how rumors get started."

"Well it would be hot, I mean have you seen them?"

"KAY! Oh my God, but no your right, they are both just, ugh! So hot!"

"I so wouldn't mind seeing that!"

"And I so don't want to be hearing this!"

"Sorry Uncle Dwight!" Both girls chorused in unison as the rolled down the highway trying to find the boys to help keep them protected.

They were able to send the other hunters off in wrong directions after another failed attempt to get them to reconsider. Now they just hoped everything could somehow be fixed before either of the boys ended up hurt.

"But just so you know, when we find them we are so getting a room right on the other side of the wall...What? I at least want to hear it!"


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Am I Your Lover Or Your Brother?

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em

Chapter: 12/?

Rating: N/C 17

Pairings: Sam/Dean, Wincest

Warnings: Language (Lots of Language), Smut, Violence, Wincest, Bottom!Sam, Bottom!Dean, Mental Abuse

Spoilers: Possible Up Through Season 7 (Here and There)

Summary: Au in which John keeps the boys apart telling each that the other died early in their childhood for different reasons. They meet at a college party and connect. When Sam figures out the truth will he tell Dean that he's his brother, or will Sam continue playing part of Dean's lover?

Ch. 12

"Sammy, Sam," Dean called as he gently shook his sleeping brother. "We're here, gonna stop here for a while ok?"

"Hmmm...Dean? Yea, yea ok."

"I'm going to go get a room, get our stuff gathered up and ready to take in will ya?"

"Yea Dean."

Sam sighed as Dean shut the door and walked into the lobby. He doesn't know for a fact how things were going to play out but he was pretty sure it was going to go something like 'We're brothers Sam, what happened happened and it's in the past now' and then he was going to be on the receiving end of some serious Winchester denial. Just thinking about it gave him a headache, Dean was so much like John, Sam doesn't know how he didn't see it before. Dammit. Brothers. They're brothers. Right.

Dan cam jaunting back out to the car jingling the keys for the room he acquired in his hand. "Come on Sammy, got us a room, grab your stuff will ya?"

"Yea, I'm coming Dean," Sam shouted back. He couldn't help but give a self-depreciating laugh when he realized what he said. "Yea, how I wish," he mumbled under his breath before hauling his bag onto his shoulder and following Dean into their room. Of course they had to share a room, sparse money sources and all but still, this was going to be difficult.

"There's a diner right down the road, the clerk gave me this upon check-in," Dean said while passing Sam a flier with a free dessert coupon for Rick's Diner, "The best burger joint this side of the Mason-Dixon." How true that was Sam wasn't sure but he guesses he's about to find out.

"Okay Dean, sounds good," was his only reply as he went into the tiny bathroom to clean up from the long drive. "Just give me few mins to wind down a bit."

"Okay just don't take too long Sam, I'm starving and could really go for a bacon-cheeseburger and some pie right about now."

"I'll be right out Dean." Sam knew this would happen, he knew Dean would try and act like everything was fine, like they were never anything more than brothers. 'Yea brothers who have sex,' Sam thought. He thought he had himself prepared for this, he had nothing better to do on the long drive here, only stopping here and there for small breaks for the last few days. Still, the stab of pain at seeing the double beds wasn't expected. Fuck. He had to get Dean to see things his way, he had to or he wasn't going to survive.

"Alright Dean I'm ready. Let's go see how good these burgers really are."

The diner had a complete American theme right down to the gaudy red, white, and blue decorum with some bright yellow mixed in. "You know, this could have been done in a more tactful manner," Sam stage whispered to Dean upon walking in.

"I don't know Sammy, it's so bad," Dean responded taking another look around. "Come on, over here, there's a booth that gives us a view of the whole place."

As much as Sam didn't care to look at the bright colors that made him feel like they spray painted the colors of Superman's costume all over the place, he had to agree with the importance of being able to watch their surroundings, especially since they were on the run. Of course they would have similar thoughts, same up-bringing and all, same father. Jeeze that was still weird. Sam wondered if it ever wouldn't be.

Soon a tall, bubbly, blonde waitress in a short skit and high heels was standing next to their table openly eying both of them while twirling her long pony tail around her fingers. "What can I get for the two of you?" she asked while handing them each menus. "All of our burgers are cooked to order and I can honestly say are the best around," she continued in a slow-southern drawl. "What will it be to drink boys?"

"Umm I'll have a coffee and a coke," Dean answered.

"Just a water for me thanks."

"Okay boys I'll be right back with your drinks, I'll get your orders then," she replied before bouncing off while still twirling her hair. Typical, Sam thought. Figures we'd end up with the cliché version of every slutty tuck stop slash diner waitress there was. He saw how Dean was eying her obviously pushed up cleavage. Whatever, it's not like there was, oh say, a guy who was totally still in love with his right across the damn table! Suddenly Sam wasn't feeling very hungry.

"Damn, these all look so good, I can't decide. What are you having?"

"I, um, I don't know."

"You alright?"

"I, um, yea I'm fine, why wouldn't I be Dean?" Sam felt his throat closing up and he herd the slightly hysterical edge to his voice. He only started to calm down after Dean grabbed his hands and started talking to him.

"I know we're under a lot of stress right now Sammy, I get it, I do, but you have to keep it cool for me okay, stay calm. We're no good if we start panicking. Take a deep breath and decide on something to eat, you need to keep your strength up." When he was finished Dean gently patted Sam's hands and then went back to browsing the menu as if nothing every happened.

Sam wasn't even sure exactly what happened but he knew as long as he concentrated on Dean everything was ok, that everything would be ok.

They finished their meal in relative silence, keeping an eye on the other patrons in case trouble arose. After clearing their table of everything but their unfinished drinks the waitress came back over to give them the bill. "So is this together or separate?" Sam wasn't sure how she managed to make that sound lewd but she had.

"Together," Dean answered getting out his wallet and pulling out some cash. He took a quick look at the bill and handed her the money. "Keep the change hun."

"Thanks. Have a good day ya'll!" she responded as she pulled the receipt off and handed it to Dean with a wink before bouncing away again. Dean just shoved it into his jeans pocket before pulling out the keys to the Impala and walking out the door with Sam in tow.

"Ah Good Ol' Georgia, Hot and Humid. I think we should head up north in a day or so Sam. There's this quiet little island right off the Bay Bridge with no hunters that I know of. We could bunk down there for a little while what do ya say?"

"Sounds good Dean."

"Stop brooding Sammy boy, everything is going to be alright," Dean tried reassuring Sam with a fake, bright tone and a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He knew things were pretty well fucked up and he knew that he didn't even know half of it yet. He needed to call dad and Bobby and soon. When they were on the road again, would be safer that way, they wouldn't be able to be pin pointed.

The room was hot as hell when they got back and both brothers groaned at the stifling heat. "I hate the east coast, I can't stand the humidity."

"Me either," Sam said while pulling off his shirt, his undershirt following soon after. He knew what he was doing, he knew he was half doing it on purpose too. Hey if he couldn't talk and reason with Dean then he could seduce him right? Nothing wrong with a little seduction, nothing at _all_, oh, except for the fact he was seducing his brother. Oh well, it's not like he was ever normal anyway.

Dean's barking laugh pulled Sam out of his thoughts. "Oh, Sam you have to look at this," Dean laughed while waving the wrinkled receipt around he had pulled out of his pocket. "I think _Jenny _wants a threesome."

"Hmm seems that way," Sam said snatching the piece of paper from his brother. Well would you look at that! She wrote the total in the wrong spot."


End file.
